Songtext That one time Rapsody

That one time

I gotta call my daddy back
I'll hit him in a minute, I'll do this first

I think the most beautiful shit is when you can be the most honest with yourself
Like that's when you, I think that's when you the most free, when you can be vulnerable
And allow yourself to not be perfect, ya dig?
Just be human and shit
Yeah
That's the work I've been doing anyway
Ya gotta dig deep in that shit
It's taken some time, but we getting there
It ain't easy though, for real

It only took one time, I came out different
I'm just like Gloria
Except my smile missing
I was experimenting
I been known nigga lie, I found out, so do women
You were my one time, I came out different
My smile gone, I'm turned out
Now I can't listen to those songs
Memories come wit 'em, hard to revisit
Hard to count on love, my heart broke into a bunch of digits
In the mirror asking my inner child what I'm missing
What's wrong wit' me?
That's what's wrong wit' me
Felt x'd out by my ex's and Momma's wisdom
Saying never marry while laying next to a married nigga
Knowing if my brother-in-law cheated on my sister
I'd be pissed wit' 'em
I'm such a hypocrite
I never baptized, I would've been disfellowshipped
If Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed the things I did
I'm such a hypocrite, insecurity
I never felt socially accepted or wanted physically
Got me changing, experimenting
I fell in love with her
Now I'm smiling different
Am I hurt? Turned out?
Or maybe I'm still triggered?
Never felt wanted or pretty by no nigga

It only took one time, and one mo'
Two, three times, and 'fore long, we in relationship
My thoughts debating wit'
Who I am? Who I'm living for?
My parents, pastors, my demons
My fears, my nieces, my nephews, my fans
Clinging to society
Who always labeled me, but can't define me quite entirely
Tiredly, I'm overcome wit' it all
Opened my vault, found my value in my truth and my flaws
It only took one time for me to question it all
For real

You gotta look in that mirror
And ask those questions to you, and only you
'Cause you're the only one that can answer 'em
Ya know?
They call it, I think, uh
In the medical field, I think the professional term is to unblock that child
Or even unblock that trauma, or
I don't know you just gotta audit with yourself
You gotta be okay with, just being, being imperfect
Life is a process, we just going through it
Matter fact, yo where my phone at, yo
Alright, I'm done