They told me I would feel fine in a few days
So confused people told me it was the only way
Now all I feel is remorse
My heart aches when I think about my child
I can only imagine your face
I let you be torn away from me in disgrace
Now all around me is regrets
Every morning I wish I could hold you in my arms
Or see you sleep dream in peaceful calm
But all I have is loneliness
I cannot bear these thoughts oppressing me
No-one told me I would feel like this
How can I escape I'm sick with sorrow
Has a baby just been slaughtered at my decree
Does anyone else feel like me
Why do you tell me these feelings are wrong
That child was alive within me now he is gone
In a few more days will the memories leave my head
Of my child who was living who now is dead
I cannot bear these thoughts oppressing me
No-one told me I would feel like this
How can I escape I'm sick with sorrow
Has a baby just been slaughtered at my decree
Does anyone else feel like me
The nightmares still haunt me the sickness as I wake
The repulsion I'm feeling is too much to take
Visions of pain in sleepless night haziness
Taking my mind morbid in craziness
There is a reason for things I still feel
So much unanswered wounds unhealed
Many are the times words of comfort are spoken
But still no release is here within my reach
You can't hear me my child as I cry for you
You could have had love that now far too late
I can feel for you
I have no-one to blame but myself
I have no-one to take a share of the blame
their words bring no comfort to me
No this is not self pity
Until I die will I remain the same
God forgive me please forgive me
Forgive us all
God forgive me please forgive me
Forgive us all
God forgive me
Forgive us all
God forgive me please forgive me
Forgive us all
Forgive us
Through these tears hear my cries
Love and forgiveness I see in your eyes
My sin and misery you took in my place
Please release me by your healing grace
Lord my refuge is found in your peace
In your strength all my fears finally cease
You bring healing where darkness brought harm
I know the ones who died are resting in your arms
Ashen Mortality was a British doom metal band that was formed in early 1993 by Ian Arkley (ex-Seventh Angel) and Melanie Bolton. They and Paramaecium are the best known Christian Doom metal bands. They recorded two demos, and two albums, and played many gigs in England, the Netherlands and Germany. Featuring clean and growled male vocals, and female vocals, their music was heavy, slow to mid-paced, and influenced by medieval music, doom, death and goth. The band split up in 2005, when Arkley went on to form My Silent Wake.
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