Songtext If only Antix

If only

If only I could have been there for you darling
I'd do it all again right by your side
if only I knew the mistakes that I was making
I would have never tried to try
think of me well
my pretty baby
I hate to have to see you cry
see you cry
I'll take my leave
the ending is coming
it's about that time to say goodbye

Something ain't right
yo
I can feel it in my bone structure
knives in my life
yeah they wanna cold cut ya
plunge it in
twist it round
take your liver out
but that ain't sitting pretty with me
so I live in doubt
I need my liver
for the drinking that I use to douse
the problems I have
but now I ain't getting you aroused
used to rock your fundamentals
make the bed shift
but now getting it up
it's like a dead lift
crazy bored
and I f**k a lot on the side
you don't know it but I guess it's just a matter of time
how many texts can I delete before you stumble on
the one that reveals it all
shows you what's been going on
I'm too p**sy to be the one to break it off
I think I love you still
sometimes
but maybe not
who knows
yo
this love ain't even real
it's just some residual s**t from how we used to feel
so sianora to the old days and memories
used to be a hurricane
now you ain't a pleasant breeze
you ain't a saint
despite how you paint yourself
I'm Dante
motherf**ker
I can make it hell
magma anger
molten in its manner
burn you up
with the most flammable of grammar
I wish you well
really that I do
probably coz I know
I'm more beautiful than you

Flicker
flame
flicker
like a shadow in a broken mirror
the night time's quiet now
and I can hope to hear ya
if I'm blind
you're the conscience providing sight
Jimmeny by my side
trying to guide me right
I used to listen when you spoke love
now I don't give a regurgitated f**k what you throw up
you that bulimic type
spewing up your own advice
I don't wanna kiss you with that mouth
you alone tonight
there's a drama in the air
and I can feel it too
the silent type
Chaplin
you gotta see the mood
cut the tension
looming in the air
if I didn't own this house
I'd get the f**k up outta here
sail away
sail away
back to where the troubles of the world don't exist
I'm alone
sail away
sail away
up and leave you there
where you stand
baby girl
I'd be gone
I used to have bones and a vertebrae
used to have convictions
girl
but you murdered it
used to be the one to make decisions in an instant
move on it
never think twice
and never flinching
now honestly
love
what's stopping me?
look at me
look at us
this a f**king mockery
about time for us to leave this little colony
blow the spot like a bomb over Lockerby

Symbiosis
with this cold fish
intertwining up our fates like a ghost stitch
serving up a slice of life as a cold dish
the heat is gone
baby
don't know if you noticed
time's a mistress I distrust
and here I am
waiting on you to give it up like a tip cup
Mr. Apathy
but that ain't happening
something like bad skin
but then I get proactive and
start moving in a different direction
cutting off your head
like the horse and the headman
what's keeping me?
yeah
keep seeing these red
red flags
like the people of the C.P.C
I'm like a bull with a tampon dangling
in front of me
no matter where I go
it keeps happening
you keep being in my rear-view
puckering
blowing me kisses
on some ?sufferin' suckotashes?
roll the ashes
and light up the memories
incinerate her like I'm burning up an effigy
tah tah to my ex-future-baby-mama
sianora
baby
I don't want that kinda drama
some Kenneth Branagh
some Edgar Alan-Poe s**t
morbid
would have been my life if I chose this
so I choose not
call me space-tracks
making footprints
I can never take back