I saw it advertised one day,
Bear Mountain picnic was comin' my way."
Come along 'n' take a trip,We'll bring you up there on a ship.
Bring the wife and kids
Bring the whole family."
Yippee! Well, I run right down 'n' bought a ticket
To this Bear Mountain Picnic.But little did I realize
I was in for a picnic surprise.
Had nothin' to do with mountains.
I didn't even come close to a bear. Took the wife 'n' kids down to the pier,
Six thousand people there,
Everybody had ticket for the trip."
Oh well." I said, "it's a pretty big ship.
Besides, anyway, the more the merrier." Well, we all got on 'n' what d'ya think,
That big old boat started t' sink
More people kept a-pilin' on,
That old ship was a-slowly goin' down.
Funny way t' start a picnic. Well, I soon lost track of m' kids 'n' wife,
So many people there I never saw in m' life
That old ship sinkin' down in the water,
Six thousand people tryin' t' kill each other,
Dogs a-barkin', cats a-meowin',Women screamin', fists a-flyin', babies cryin',Cops a-comin', me a-runnin'.Maybe we just better call off the picnic. I got shoved down 'n' pushed around,
All I could hear there was a screamin' sound,Don't remember one thing more,
Just remember walkin' up on a little shore,
Head busted, stomach cracked,
Feet splintered, I was bald, naked. . .Quite lucky to be alive though. Feelin' like I climbed outa m' casket,
I grabbed back hold of m' picnic basket.
Took the wife 'n' kids 'n' started home,Wishin' I'd never got up that morn. Now, I don't care just what you do,
If you wanta have a picnic, that's up t' you.
But don't tell me about it, I don't wanta hear it,Ô
Cause, see, I just lost all m' picnic spirit.
Stay in m' kitchen, have m' own picnic. . .In the bathroom. Now, it don't seem to me quite so funny
What some people are gonna do f'r money.There's a bran' new gimmick every day
Just t' take somebody's money away.
I think we oughta take some o' these people
And put 'em on a boat, send 'em up to Bear Mountain . . .For a picnic.
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