It always happens in coffee shops 
And I'm always hungover when someone wants to talk 
And don't get me wrong, I like talking when it's a healthy back-and-forth exchange 
But some people always wanna lecture me and try to make me change 
He says 'You are a mystery, aren't you' 
And considering he hasn't shut up long enough for me to string two words together 
Yes that's me, Miss Mystery 
And he's quiet for a time 
And I think that might be a good sign 
Til there's a glint in his eye and I realise he's just making more sentences in his mind 
And here it comes, and there's nothing I can do 
I take a sip, I take a breath 
He licks his lips and he's opening his mouth, and it's:
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
blah blah dog diggity blah
Like a steamtrain 
Like an onslaught 
Like a machine gun loaded with your opinions but it's incoherent ammunition and your words aren't very wounding weapons when they're inflicted on me 
And I know you mean well 
With your deep wells of advice 
And your buckets of swelled self-righteousness 
Hell, you're just trying to be nice 
And you're nice, but you state your views like they are facts of life 
And I hate that, and I tell you 
And I brace myself for the reply, it's gonna be:
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
blah blah dog diggity blah
He says, 'You never were much of a talker' 
Well this isn't talking 
This is being cornered 
I'm being cornered by you 
And I can't get away 
From this table for two 
in the corner of this bright corner café 
And didn't we have this same conversation last week? 
It's not that I don't like you - I just wish you wouldn't speak:
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
blah blah dog diggity blah
I see he's made a list 
Of pressing topics of discussion 
Competing with the clanking coffee cup percussion 
And I guess we'll start with number one 
On the first A4 page 
Past the setting of the sun 
And the pouring of the lattes 
And here it comes, it's coming and there's nothing anyone can do 
I take a sip 
I grip the chair 
He opens his big, wet slippery mouth: 
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 
blah blah dog diggity blah 
Kate Miller-Heidke (born 16 November 1981) is a singer-songwriter from Brisbane, Australia. Although classically trained, she has followed a career in alternative pop music. Her record label in Australia is Sony Music.
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