Songtext Fairwell Benefit

Fairwell

I'm gonna leave the past alone
I used to have a blast at home
And a cellular phone, now I'm a walking skeletal bone
My stomach's eating itself because I'm so damn hungry
I'm homeless, just about worthless and stumbly
'cause I just finished that last bit of Guinness
Why should i buy food bitch, mind your own business
Now tend to mine, sometimes I tend to find
A little piece of sandwich somebody left behind
And I'll eat that the whole day, I beg thee always
Say will work for food, have no place to stay
Starvation has me living on my last chance
I make a fast dash and hit up all the trashcans
If I'm lucky I'll find a piece of bread, often instead
I like to slash my neck leaving my shirt awfully red
But I can't put the knife to my neck, my life is a wreck
And I'd shoot myself if I had a rifle or tek
Prolonged death through malnutrition is unbearable
I try to find a job, I'm filthy plus I smell terrible
So nobody wants to pay me, no hottie wants to lay me
I tell the prostitutes to give me head, they disobey me
Maybe, I'll join the military, join the Navy
But I have no identification and no bravery
So fuck it, I'm just gonna be alcohol's puppet
Get really drunk, find a tall building and climb up it
And then I'll jump off, but wait, I'm afraid of heights
I have to turn off my lights some way with no frights
What's the difference if I go out quietly or with a bang?
There's a ledge, there's a rope, guess I might as well hang
But that's some bullshit because I know it won't work
What if my neck doesn't break on the first jerk?
What type of shit is this? I guess I'll just slit a wrist
But that's way too slow, and plus, what if the veins missed?

I've abandoned all chances of begging and all chances of living
Guess there's no obvious circumstances of giving
Now if I'm gonna move on of free will
The only way to eat a meal is to rob, steal and kill
But I don't have it in me and I'm too damn friendly
You're my enemy because I'm broke and you have plenty
That's how I justify it in my own mental riot
You're well fed and I'm about to die from this diet
So you be quiet, and give up all your shit calmly
I'm ornery and I have a rusty screwdriver on me
And if you try to fight then it's going in your neck quick
I'm a derelict but this is no lunatic rhetoric
So take it seriously and don't try to screw with me
Don't get furious or curious, I want your jewelry
Yes all of it, hurry up I'm being tolerant
If I choose to kill you, huh, the police ain't solving it
'cause I'm a nobody and nobody is witnessing this robbery
And after I kill you, I'll kill myself probably
That's right, I'm gonna kill you now I'm so sorry
But I got all of your money plus the keys to your Ferrari
And that's all I need I knew that he would fall indeed
Then the cops pulled up while I watched his neck bleed
And they pulled out all their guns at me and yelled "Freeze"
I put the screwdriver to my throat and fell to my knees
God please, tell me who's at fault, is it me?
I told the cops I used to be a productive MC
And I signed a record deal with a shady company
Who exploited me and left me homeless without a penny
I was excited, the first label interested
I did what I did 'cause I was a foolish young kid
Oh well, if I live, I'm on a road to hell
So I guess this is it, goodbye, farewell